Johnny likes to play with words (and minds), and penned this particular piece back in 2010, after attending his very first RacersReunion. It starts out sounding a bit risqué and moves right on to downright suggestive bordering on crude... but if you know Johnny, you immediately realize this is way out of character for him, a quiet, soft-spoken true Southern gentleman. Then, as you come to realize just who the object of his affection is, you start to think, "Oh, OK. I might have felt the same; I might have done the same." Fact is, I must confess that one year later, I did do the same, as you shall learn later.
Just to set the scene, the year is 2010 and the month is April, the most beautiful month to be anywhere in the Southland. Dogwoods and azaleas abound in full bloom, redbuds are just beginning to fade but still in color, all manner of fruit trees are putting forth the blossoms, later to become sweet fruit and just around each bend in the road the scene is repeated. And to this setting came several thousand race fans, just to get together and talk over ... what else? Racing. Leaving you with that visual in your mind and the sweet smell of apple and peach blossoms in the air, I'll turn the tale over to Johnny for the telling.
Last week I told my wife I was going to Columbia SC to the reunion. She shrugged her shoulders and said "Have fun", and off I went, Friday morning early, before she got out of bed.
After arriving in Cayce SC I slowed and turned in the drive and there I saw an old girl I had run around with back in the '60s and '70s. She immediately messed my mind up with her stunning beauty, even though it had been over thirty five years since I saw her last.
She still had the same curves she had back then and right off, I was smitten over her. I wanted to go and run my hands over her and hold her once again, but this was in a public place so I cautiously and secretly had my way with her again even if it was in a pickup. She deserved better from me but this time it wasn't to be. After we waltzed around for a few minutes, I got down to hunting up some friends that were to be there too.
They were around, and we shook hands and talked of old times. Then I got off by myself, kinda looking around when out of the blue, there she was again... right in front of me. If this was going to be an ongoing affair I was sure having trouble adjusting to it. I made it through the day and into the night and that's when she did shine. People were leaving and now was my chance, I thought. I climbed into my pickup and went to her. I'm trying to describe to you in detail how this felt after so many years apart from her, but it was a great feeling to run around with her so to speak. Taking her back to the motel was not an option, for I only had a room for one person and I'm sure they would take issue over a second occupant.
Saturday was different in ways only being there could define. I helped some great friends unload their cars and was given the honor of driving one of them. Wow! Oh, the feeling of being in a racecar from back in the 60s and with a lady I really respected to boot. I got out and started taking photos of all the cars there and people too, but the gal was in almost everyone of them for some reason.
Ceremonies were starting and I left her for a short period of time while we had an autograph signing session. Man, the good looking girls that came through were astonishing but every time I would look out, there she was, waiting for me to come play.
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Johnny & Tim Columbia 2010
Photo courtesy of Devin Alexander[/caption]
Night came again and this time it was worse because now it was crowded, but I still squeezed a few private moments in every now and then.
That night Tim came over and caught me looking at her in the way you look at your true love and he too was smitten by her. I have come to find out I'm not the only person she has had affairs with, but that doesn't bother me too much now. We were late leaving Saturday night because she put on quite a show for us that night, singing and partying till the late hours.
Sunday I got up and started home, but decided I would go by her place and say goodbye to her until I got a chance to return. She didn't say anything; just looked still and beautiful as always, but somehow saddened that everyone was leaving her. I decided I would do one more stroll with her and climbed into my pickup to get ready. I said "Hold on old gal 'cause I'm gonna light your fire", and away I went . My pickup, with its V8, is quite a powerhouse and I fired off a lap around the track that I think she was proud of.
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Columbia 2010
Photo courtesy of Johnny Mallonee[/caption]
You see the Columbia Speedway has been a thing of beauty for many, many years and more drivers have tried to conquer her than you can count. She has been brought back to her pristine beauty by a special team of dedicated people and I, as a driver, cannot wait to return to see her again.
My affair is over and it had no bearing on my wife because you see, she is my real true love. The tracks in my life are only for short periods of time but she is forever.
Now you know how have an affair and get away with it. I did and loved every minute of it.
See you folks in turn "4" --------------------------------------------------------memories
-Johnny
Well, there you have it gentle readers... another Saturday Night Hero to be counted among your racing friends. For certain, Johnny Mallonee is counted among mine and rates right up near the top of the list. For several years now, he and a driver he used to battle on the tracks many years ago, have vied for that top spot on the friendship list of "Mama." As I said at the beginning of this introduction, you already know that other guy.
Oh, and just as an addendum, the following year, 2011, I attended my first RacersReunion, and it was also at the Historic Columbia Speedway. As some might guess, I am always one of the last to leave any party for fear I might miss something. So it was that when the time finally came to leave, Tim told me to follow his van, SUV or whatever that huge vehicle is called, to the front gate. My intentions were good, but along the way I spotted Leon Philips assisting another couple of drivers in loading their cars, and stopped to say one more goodbye. I started to head in the direction of where I had last seen Tim, but from my vantage point, between turns one and two, there seemed to be no access across the track to the gate... it having been roped off for the many little radio-controlled cars that had played there all day.
Those of you that know me are ahead of me, aren't you? I assessed the situation, looked at the track and thought, "Why not" as I slewed my car around to where she'd be making left turns only and jumped the small ditch to the asphalt. She's only a little Cobalt... a four-banger if you will... but she does 85 mph on I-85 without half trying... and she did on Columbia Speedway as well, but only for a moment on the backstretch. Then I slowed and circled the rest of the track, waving goodbye to the few still packing up in the infield, found the front gate and bade farewell for a year to the love of Johnny's life... and as he points out, the love of many other lives as well... the Historic Columbia Speedway.
Be well gentle readers, and remember to keep smiling. It looks so good on you!
~PattyKa
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