IF YOU'RE WILLING TO HELP, LET ME KNOW

While I realize I lack the writing talent of a PattyKay or Dave Fulton, I have always enjoyed putting my thoughts and feelings into words.Back in the day when I had a very inspirational English Lit teacher, I had thoughts of writing the great American Novel or, perhaps, approach the magic of Charles Dickens as he created imaginary worlds out of reality. Never really considered a Pulitizer Prize possibility or any other writing award, but I guess I always did hope that folks would enjoy reading things I write, truth or fiction. I just simply enjoy writing.

I have always sort of wanted to run my own business. A Business where I am the boss, I work for myself and I do what I want to do. Essentially, that is what I do now with my LLC but that remains subject to the whims of those who engage the services of that LLC. I guess it will always be that way, but I do, in the near future, intend to start writing that novel I've always wanted to write. I have sat down with a publisher and he has guaranteed me an online publication and the novels he has thus published there have been semi successful. No John Steinbeck or Ernest Hemingway discovered by him yet, but there is the possibilities.

Now, this is where I need the help of at least FIVE of you willing individuals. Willing to put your reputations on the line for me. I am in the process of organizing and filing a corporate entity with the Security Exchange Commission. My new entity will be known as "OBBAMA". No, it is NOT a political agency and if you notice, there are TWO "B"s so it has nothing to do with the President of the U.S. My entity is the Official Busch Brothers Apology Management Agency. I will begin immediately writing the scripted apologies for these two morons to use when necessary. I need five of you to use as references when I submit my proposal to Joe Gibbs and Roger Penske. I am calculating that I should be extremely wealthy by the end of next year. I propose rates as follow:

1. When a member of the press is cursed out: $25,000.00 apology

2. When a member of NASCAR is cursed or given digital signals with either hand: $50,000.00 apology

3. When a fan is cursed by a Busch: $50,000.00

4. When a fan is given a digital signal with either hand, $75,000.00.

5. When a fellow competitor is taken out of a race by purposeful actions. $150,000.00 apology.

6. When the "F" word is used and picked up on mic, either on radio, tv, or in car communications: $150,000.00 apology

7. When the "GD" word is used and picked up on mic, either on radito, tv or in car communications, $200,000.00 apology.

8. When criticizing NASCAR and found to be in violation of the rule regarding actions determental to the sport: $500,000.00 apology

9. When criticizing the crew about the car in terms not acceptable in general conversation: $35,000.00 apology

10. When criticizing anything, anyone, or any circumstance in a manner that is not approved by NASCAR: $15,000.00 apology

Just a brief review of this past season, a very brief review, I estimate my income would have been $9,255,155,205,665.00. Guess Racers Reunion could rule the web with that backing.

Ok, Robbie, you're on. You for 10% and four others for 10% each still leaves me 50% and with the income potential, 50% will be quite enough for me to enjoy life. Thanks for your support.

Legend, this is one of the better ideas to come out of the Lair think tank. I am on board and would be priviliged to contribute a small part to this braintrust. I guess we ought to immediately begin churning out a supply of responses. They'll need plenty andmuch better ones. I've always respected Roger Penske, but that lame response that Kurt's remarks didn't represent the reputation of Penske Racing was stupid. That's exactly what it did... it not only represented the reputation of Penske Racing, it lowered a reputation crafted by folks like Mark Donohue and Don Miller. Heck, as a fund raising tool,we ought tohave some pins and bumper stickers made up to sell in Charlotte this coming Labor Day Weekendto unsuspecting Democrats congregating at the Nomination Festivities around the NASCAR Hall of Fame Plaza. Those items would read "I'm On Board OBBAMA!" and they'd be happy and so would we! I forsee a bright future for our Legend.

Let's hope the SEC doesn't require any language to be added to the proposal that would mandate our group pay a substantial premium to any opposing car owner, driver or crew member, media memberor fan who engageseither or both of the brothers in a headlock, punches them, tackles them, or in any other way physically overpowers them within or without the confines of a racetrack. If so, that could prove costly to our profit structure. Be careful with your wording, please.

I would also suggest that the founding members of the response group be eligible for a companyunderwritten health plan. Perhaps it could be named "OBBAMA CARE!"

Cleaver Dave----very cleaver and your plan wouldnt have a deductible to meet either so that puts you in like Flint !!!

Another word to the wise here---- When the Legend spends idle hours pondering sometimes good things happen so dont say pooh on him----he may just hit on the next Wonder of the world..

Johnny, I think you are exactly right in your assessment of the Legend. I am glad you have given this the appropriate thought and allowed the rest of us to also mull over the best way to structure this venture. In fact, the more I think about it, the better off we maywell be if the Legend has absolute control of this organization. He could be like a czar or benevolent dictator. Rather than the rest of the group being employees, we could be independent contractors with no benefits due, except the benefit of associating with the Legend. He would be wise, also,to keep all the stock closely held and never let this organization go public. We certainly would not want to be accountable to any race fans as we craft our various responses. I am also thinking that Mr. Gibbs and Mr.Penske might appreciate being allowed to have a few "sponsors" underwrite the cost of some of the various "response packages" so that their drivers' outbursts and actions do not impose undue financial burden on their racing organizations. I am thinking, also, that if the Legend sees those two car owners having considerable success selling sponsorship of the response packages, perhaps he might go behind the backs of Gibbs and Penske and offer their sponsors an even larger "response package" at a higher cost wherein all profits went directly to the OBBAMA organization. I think he would have success stealing these sponsors from Gibbs and Penske if he promised the underwriting sponsors that by buying into the package, they could be eligible to provide excuses to other car owners. For instance... suppose in 2012 at Talladega if Duck Boy suddenly decides he wants to put Bad Brad in the grandstands. Voila, Jack Roush can participate by purchasing an excuse from the large package already underwritten by the former Gibbs and Penske response sponsors. Or suppose Darian Grubb, while standing in the pits of his new employer, elects to throw a wrench through Tony Stewart's windshield. Voila, the new car owner for which Grubb is working will have access for an appropriate fee to a viable excuse for Darian destroying Smoke's windshield. There is no doubt Legend has come up with a real money maker. There are tworeasons we need absolute secrecy about this project: 1) We don't want Brian France to find out and try to horn in on the profits. 2) We don't want our wives finding about this and expecting to share in the revenue stream.

Hay Count me in Tim can`t read that well or wright but see a lot of of language on TV that should not be used

Dang legend, sounds like you're trying to make everyone in Nascar bankrupt!

Tim. You can count me in on this since I have a history of getting folks riled (??)up I'm sure that I can come up with a few that would probably work.

However, to assure that I cannot be retaliated against by anyone I ask for 15% .

I am sure with the income that is anticipated by this venture 15% will only be a drop in the bucketcompared to the gross income.

Very clever idea. Looking forward to it.

I can see clearly now--$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$--inmy future.

I may even purchase MGR.

LOVE< Love, love the package sponsorship idea, Dave. Fits very nicely in today's NASCAR. For example...in the case of the most recent Busch outburst (Kurt vs Dr Punch), Dial Soap might fit.

As for those involving finger gestures....a jeweler might be interested. And if an incident involves athletic ability...the throwing of a wrench...or even better, rasltin in the pits...we could go after Golds Gym...or some of those guys.

For those that involve on-track dumps....Charmin, or Cottonelle would be great.