10-- I'll be sending out Christmas cards soon and you'll all get one except for Montoya. Juan, I'll be sending you a bill for $50,000. That's the most expensive punch I've ever thrown. ... Oh wait, I wasn't supposed to mention that. That was supposed to be a secret fine. Uh, sorry Happy Holidays everyone...
09-- Look, I know everybody thinks I struggled this year because I can't get over 2010, but I'm over it, OK ... It's just that, well, if they hadn't run me out of gas at Phoenix ..."
08--"First of all, I'd like to thank Jimmie for winning the championship ag ... What? Jimmie didn't win the championship again? Wow, that's hard to believe. ... Actually, I think I even won more races than him, didn't I, Jimmie? Where is Jimmie? He's usually up here. Oh, there he is, out there in the audience.
07-- "Well, I guess I need to thank all the fans for voting for me again. It's really neat to win this Most Popular Driver Award again ... Oh, yeah, we did that yesterday ... Sorry, just got up, and I haven't been up here in a while .
06--"Thank you, Jeff, for those kind and thoughtful words. Im still here, not going anywhere. I'm sure I'll run into you soon. Just ask Kurt . ... Congratulations to Tony, he finally ended our streak. Of course, I guess all of you people out there are happy about that. I know you got tired of me winning all the time, and you finally got your wish ...
-05--"I only have a few things to say since ... well, I don't want to get fined or something for speaking my mind. ... Want to thank my doctor for patching up that broken ankle good enough for me to win at Pocono and go on a hot streak.
04--"Unlike Brad, I really am a man of few words. We had a good year, won some races, might have won the championship if it hadn't been for Brian Vickers. Where is he, anyway? Is he not here? Oh, that's right you have to have a ride to get in.
03--"Well, it was certainly an interesting year (grins). ... But before I get started, I want to know one thing where's Kyle? He's not here? He get suspended again? Maybe somebody finally gave him a whooping and he couldn't make it. That's a shame.
02-- "You mean I get to go first? Shouldn't Tony be up here, too? We tied, you know. (laughs) ... Seriously, I'm glad I get to go first it's the first time I've finished ahead of him in a while.
01..And I'd like to thank my crew chief Darain. Where's Darian? Oh, I forgot, I fired him. ... And in conclusion, I'd just like to say one more thing when I tell you we're going to do something, you can take it to the bank. We're going to do it again next year, too. To be the man, you've got to beat the man ... Wooooo!"
My cobbled up twist on Jeff Owens post
updated by @johnny-mallonee: 12/05/16 04:02:07PM