There simply isn't enough space in one column to recreate all the events and cautions that are Bristol, so this week, I'll just be telling you who is not speaking to whom. That should give anyone who missed the race a bit of the flavor.

Toad Bodine isn't speaking to either Junior Johnson or Sterling Silver and Steve Parked and Lance Whoopee aren't speaking to Toad. That whole mess was the result of Junior slowing and everyone else ducking for cover.

Bobby Hambone isn't speaking to The Other Gordon, but then neither are Ricky the Redhead nor Junior Johnson. Seems that Robby made friends all night long by assisting them with his front bumper.

Elliott Sadder isn't speaking to Joe Upchuck, but did give him a lesson in sign language, indicating clearly that he felt the man was out of his bloomin' mind.

Junior Johnson isn't speaking to the wall at the turn three end of the track. Seems the wall hit him and spun him out. Really, just ask him! Same thing goes for Steve Parked, but he knows better. That seems to be a weekly occurrence.

Almost no one is speaking to the Big Brown Truck, after he punted Jeremy Mayfail into the wall on a restart, collecting the younger Booten brother, The Busch League kid and Coach Gibbs' gentle driver.

Jeff the Greenhorn and Ricky the Redhead are not speaking to each other after Ricky tested Jeff's brakes and found out he had none.

The New Man and Mark the Meek aren't speaking to each other after an on-track meeting that resulted in the New Man spinning into the wall and dinging Texas Terry on his way.

Texas Terry isn't speaking to anyone but himself.  A missing motor, a flat tire and a wreck! Some nights are best forgotten.

Hut! Hut! Hut! Stricklin isn't speaking to Jeremy Mayfail, after the latter gave him an assist into the turn 3 wall, but much in the style of Elliott Sadder earlier, he got creative with his hand signals, giving Mayfail a round of applause and a big thumbs up.

Castoff Atwood and Mule Skinner aren't speaking to each other after an encounter that sent Atwood spinning, and Dave Blarney isn't speaking to either one of them after being collected in the melee.

As noted before, the Other Gordon and Junior Johnson stopped speaking early on, but that didn't stop them from communicating. Feeling that Junior was occupying his place on the track during one of the multitude of restarts, Robby politely whacked him five or six times, then spun him out. Junior politely thanked him for the assistance by flipping him the bird. Robby then raced leader Johnny Benson to get a lap back and slapped him around too. Nope, Johnny isn't speaking to him either. NASCAR, on the other hand, decided it was past time that someone spoke, so they hauled Robby in for a two lap cooling off period. Something about rough driving, I think.

With laps winding down, Dale the Lesser rapped Wawd Booten and punted him hard into the wall.  Not being satisfied with hand signals, Wawd removed his heat shields from his feet and stalked the aggressor as he came back around, letting those shields fly, only to bounce harmlessly off the window netting. That one's gonna cost you, Wawd!

During the resulting caution, the Home Depot Demon ever so gently tapped the rear bumper of Jerry Nay-do, but broke an oil line which quickly deposited its contents all over the track and pit road. Nay-do may not be speaking to Tony, but I think he's still laughing.

At the end, it was two guys that haven't been mentioned yet racing for the win. Crusty was in front and the Flaming car close behind. They got a little too close at one point, as Jeff politely requested room to run (with his chrome horn), bumping Crusty up the track and allowing the Flames to make it to the checkers first. Oh, Crusty had plenty to say, but not to Jeff. They're not speaking.

All in all, it looks like it will be a very quiet week in the garage area, with the only words coming from NASCAR, in the form of how much who is going to pay when they are done reviewing it all.

It was Bristol! Would I lie to you?

~LIB

Well folks, there she is, or was. I do hope you enjoy her.  After all, she and I are pretty good friends. Be well gentle readers, and remember to keep smiling. It looks so  good on you!

~PattyKay

Email:  nas3car@etcmail.com

Twitter: @MamaPKL

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