It is that time. Last race of the season. I remember the days when the last race of the season would launch me on a day by day, hour to hour count down until the Twins at Daytona in February, or even further back, to the afternoons listening to a radio broadcast of the far off Riverside 500, the first four or five of which were won by Dan Gurney. Racing was great back then, interesting, entertaining. Filled with awesome personalities, great drivers and REAL cars. Cars that were Fords, Chevrolets, Mercurys, Pontiacs, Dodges and Plymouths. Cars where crew chiefs would work their magic to make a real race car fly. But, as Margaret Mitchell lamented all those years ago, those days are "Gone With The Wind".
I didn't have to work today but, instead, ran errands and went grocery shopping with Ann. At least by going with her I DO get to sneak in some of those things she wishes I wouldn't eat!!!! I was really difficult to walk with that gallon of ice cream stuffed in my pants. So, in my own little depraved way, I was thinking about the end of the season for 2010, the last Cup race of the year, and the three way fight for the cup. I began to think back over the year, and somethings just need to be set out for all to comment. I offer the following:
1. If Denny Hamlin is so angry after finishing Phoenix 15 points AHEAD of second place he throws a bottle of water 40 yards across the pits and has a scowl only equaled by a kid having to take a dose of castor oil, what can we expect if he loses the Cup? Will he throw Mike Ford across the track? Will he have his eyebrows altered to look like a Jap on a kamakazie mission? Who knows, but I don't want to be there.
2. If Jimmie Johnson wins the Cup, will he indeed head to Lowes to buy more shelving to construct a proper display case for the trophy? Or, perhaps, he will want to find someone to help him "build something together". Oh wait, that's Home Depots' slogan. I never was good with hammers and saws anyway.
3. If Kevin Harvick wins, will he donate one of Delana's firesuits to Joey Logano? Joey seems to have desired one of those suits earlier this year, or was, at the very least, jealous that Delana looked better in yellow than Joey does in orange.
4. Will Kurt Busch have a beer keg tap in the back of the Blue Duece to drain all the Miller out before leaving the ride? Will Brad have his name legally changed from "Brad Kesolowski" to "Brad Kegolowski"? Something to think about before taking the Miller sponsorship next year?
5. Will Kyle Busch suddenly remember his statement at Charlotte earlier in the year about "killing Denny Hamlin" and think to himself, "there is no way that twerp is going to win the cup before me" and just sort of drift the 18 up to brush the 11? Could be. Kyle is not exactly a Denny Hamlin fan.
6. Will Jeff Gordon and Jeff Burton decide to exit their cars on the back straight and give us another rendition of "Dancing with the Cars" in an effort to relieve some of the grief Bristol Palin is catching for her position on ABC's Dancing With the Stars? The "fight" at Texas did appear more choregraphed than "sock it to me".
7. Will Tony Stewart have enough Old Spice on board to pass out to all those in Southern Florida who seem not to know what deoderant's purpose is?
8. Will Dale, Jr. lead some laps and get all the fans excited before deciding it's better to drop to the back and save that hope for Daytona in February?
9. Will Mark Martin decide he's had enough and go on and get out of the Hendrick ride so Kahne can come on over instead of driving Toyotas for a year?
10. Will Ryan Newman find out what itis to be "Army Strong"? He's had some good runs this year but it would sure help to have the special forces up top as his spotters and sort of help the competition encounter problems.
11. Will Juan Paublo finally win on an oval track? If he does, will he have to show his green card to collect the check?
12.Will Chad Knaus actually go through with his plan to have one crew member from the 24, one from the 88, one from the 5, one from the 11, one from the 29, one from the 33, as his over the wall gang? I understand he has had new meaning to "substituion teamwork".
13. Will Marcos Ambrose actually make a pitstop for a vegemite sandwich? That would make for not such a g'day.
14. Has NASCAR actually now mandated that the "start and park" guys have to run at least one-third of the race or forfeit all prize money.
15. Is it true that ESPN has had 107 computers installed in the booth to keep every conceiveable statistic readily available as to the up-to-the second standings in the top three of the points? I understand they announcers will have to stand outside the door to read the computer screens. Such facts as "if the number 11 runs one one thousands of an inch closer to the white line, he will have a 4 point lead on the number 48".
16. Is it possible that the transponders that measure pit road speed on the three top contenters have been removed so as to ensure none will be caught for speeding? Or did they just remove the transponder from number 11?
17. Is it true that the Japanese government has required the USS Missouri to be towed just off Homestead to have the formal surrender of U.S. Automakers signed on the deck?
18. Is it true that Richard Petty Motorsports has actually painted the inside of the fuel cell on the number 43 Petty Blue just for some tradition? Would be nice to see some Petty Blue on the 43 rather than that green! But, then again, I guess it's just great to see the 43 on the track in any color because the "green" has been a big problem.
19. Is it true that NASCAR tech has been measuring the Cheerios Clint Bowyer has for breakfast every morning to make sure the "O" s are not 1/16 too small? That could cause major problems.
20. Is it possible we can get through the race without a "green, white, checker" finish? Without the mystery debris caution flag? Without one time being reminded that the drivers are filling up with SUNOCO RACING FUEL and putting on THE GOODYEAR RACING TIRES. We know that. There is no choice, no option. I remember when I would only buy the products that supported NASCAR. I hate to admit it, but last week the price of Union 76 was a penny more per gallon than the Sunoco at the stations within sight of each other. I paid the penny more! That was a total of 15 cents more to fill up but as I saw the sign that said "The Official Fuel of NASCAR" I sort of though that for too long now, I have been "The Official FOOL of NASCAR".
So, knowing how I feel about stock car racing, and knowing how, even though I get mad at some of the drivers sometime, outside of my family and my intiment circle of friends, I know these guys better than anyone else. I know about Carl Edwards than I know about our President. I know more about Joe Nemechek than I know about our State Governor. These people have been a part of my life and continue to be. Oh, I get angry, and say some vicious things, but I would never wish pain or injury on a one of them. I want to see them all back at Daytona in February and, yes, I'll be watching that race on TV. While I WOULD travel to Daytona to see the ARCA race, I have no desire to see the 500 in person unless I am in the President's Box, being fed well, and having Brian shine my boots in the pre-race.
To whomever wins The Cup, congratulations and to that driver's fans, congratulations as well because it is with your support that your favorite
fought the battle and won the Championship. He may not know it, although he will be sure to thank the fans Sunday and make a scripted speech in Las Vegas at the banquet letting the fans know how important they are. He has corporate people and classes he takes to know how to say those things. NASCAR approves all speechs for the banquet and has those speeches on telepromters, that is when they can get a telepromter from the White House. There may be a teleprompter shortage in Vegas this year.
Happy Thanksgiving to all.
Tim
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What a change! It's been awhile since I've checked in and I'm quite surprised. It may take me awhile to figure it our but first look it's really great.
updated by @tim-leeming: 12/05/16 04:02:07PM
