The Mayhem 500There was once a time not long agoWhen a driver could stand all dayTo chat and sign some autographsBut that's not the case todayWhen racing was all about good ol' boysAnd how they planned to winThe days when money was not the dealBefore the Corporate guys came inIt's hard to work in their own garageThey can't go anyplaceWithout a pen or paper or a microphoneBeing shoved right in their faceThey're obligated to sponsorsThat's easily understoodThey've got to have their moneyTo make a team run goodBut mister sponsor please take a noteLest you misunderstandThe money you spend on your race teamComes from money spent by fansSo send your horads of company guysTo every race you canBut keep them out of the pits and garageAnd seat them in the standsIt would be hard to do your jobWith a crowd in your workplaceAutograph hounds breathing down your neckAnd a reporter in your faceAnd NASCAR if you really tryThere's surely something you can doTo contain the circus in your garagesif you really wanted to.John W. CainJune 29, 2000