RANDOM NOTES FROM THE 600
General
Just some observations from the 600 which, I hope, may entertain some of you.
1. Being in the stands as hot as it was, most guys had their shirts off. I can attest, without reservation, that you should invest in futures for tattoo ink. I have never seen so many gross, unattractive tattoos as I did Sunday. One guys, maybe 30 years old had tattoos from his neck down, just scrolling ink lines. He looked as though he is a good candidate for a Circus freak show. Do they even have those anymore or are freak shows reserved for Washington, D.C.? Almost everyone from, women included, 16 and up were tattooed with something. One woman I saw at the concession stand (or should I call that place robbery central?) had both arms tattooed to look like lace.
2. To the 12 year old 300 pound boy sitting on the row behind us, it is NOT cool to take off your shirt and expose all that to anyone. Even my 7 year old grandson wondered how you could be that overweight at your age. I wish you well and hope you will take steps to resolve the weigh issue. It's going to kill you.
3. To the woman sitting in front of us with the Jeff Gordon cap. It is NOT cool to stand every 3 minutes in front of my grandson with that HUGE rear end of yours right in his face in those black jeans. I assume those were jeans. I have read where they had to sew the black leather pants on Olivia Newton John in the last scenes of Grease and then cut them off of her after filming. Lady, I'm tell you, everytime you stood up I was in shock that jean fabric could expand that much. Speaking of expanding, how long have you been working on expanding the girth stuffed into those jeans?
4. To the woman in the next row in the Kyle Busch t-shirt and Carl Edward cap (talk about indecision) with the long grey haired pony tail sticking out, what in God's name possessed you to wear those 4 inch spike heels to a race. Were you "hooking" for Kyle or Carl? Jeez lady, I kept waiting for you to break and heal and fall.
5. To the approximately 17 year old boy with the striped bermuda shorts and no shirt, and the tattoo of an angel all over your back, I am assuming you were sentenced by your coach of something to run the grandstands. I know I saw you up and down those stairs no less than 600 times during that race. Next time, don't get seats at the TOP of the stands, sit down front and save come energy.
6. To the 600 plus pound dude you could not fit into the seat in the Toyota Grandstands because the seats have little arm rests, it is NOT cool to spend the entire race standing in the aisle with your girth making it almost impossible to get around you to go down. You should have joined the young man running up and down the steps the entire race.
7. Until Sunday, I had no idea that men's underwear came in so many brands and designs. With no shirts and pants hanging around their knees, I was exposed (not me personally but them) to every brand of men's underwear known to man. I never even knew there was an "American Eagle" brand of underwear.
8. To the lady who had enjoyed a little too much of Kevin Harvick's sponsor's product, whom I encounter going across the pedestrian bridge to the parking lot. Did you really bring your two kids with you and drink like that and then drive them home. Your son looked to be about 13 and your daughter about 9. You should be jailed for child abuse. I hope you all made it home safely. Oh, and for the record,those two kids look mortified to be seen with you. Even my 7 year old grandson was embarrassed for your children. When he saw you, he held on to my hand even tighter and looked up at me with a questioning face. I didn't say anything but looking back, I should have told him it is not cool to be like that.
9. To the man three rows behind us who unleased a string of profanity before the race, for reasons unknown as nothing was going on. Thanks for sitting down and shutting up when I stood up and gave you the "look to kill". Those were my grandsons and I don't want them exposed to such. I would not have come back there as it is not my nature to cause a scene, but I would certainly have engaged the services of the security office down front had you continued.
10. Finally, to the two dudes in the red Corvette with the North Carolina personalized tag containing the letters "JW", you need to be aware that just driving a red Corvette does not entitle you to cut in front of folks. I'm still trying to figure out why the rednecks in the jacked up four-wheel drive Ford F-250 didn't reduce your ride to a pile of red plastic. Next time, dude, have some class. Most everyone else in the parking lot did and we had a good time and lots of conversation getting out of there.
So, until my next visit to a NASCAR track, that is a small portion of the entertainment presented by NASCAR fans of the new generation. In fairness though, as stated in my Legendtorial on Tuesday night, most of the folks we encountered, fans and speedway personnel were awesome. It was truly a grand experience for me and my three grandsons. So, to all the fans who made it a great day, thanks, and I hope you all are the ones I sit next to on the next trip.
Tim
updated by @tim-leeming: 04/05/17 04:45:54AM
